Amazing things are just a block or two away...
Yeah, there's a lot of people around, but I can deal with it. I push along with the crowd and wind up where I'm going anyway.
I've got a jacket on, keeping my torso snug, though my face is continually cut by the chilly wind. If I keep walking, it won't matter. Just keep walking and I'll make it where I'm going.
Where am I going? Who knows. But that's the thing about having amazing things just a few blocks away; exploring is a cinch.
I dodge around an incoming sixfoot man and mumble a brief apology. On my way again, not missing a damn beat.
Part 2 of my existential crisis has been this: Where do I want to be?
LA is... it's fine. It's okay. I don't hate it like I used to, but there's nothing about the city keeping me here other than because it's the center of the entertainment industry.
But if I'm no longer interested in perusing the entertainment industry, then do I need to be here anymore?
Am I still interested in the entertainment industry? I think the answer is still yes. Pretty sure. I've done some wrestling and I've landed on a solid, "Pretty sure."
"Where do I need to be?" is a question of two separate parts. "What city do I like?" is one, but actually, the more imporant one is, "Where is the community I want to be a part of located?"
As much as I fantasize about living in a city where I can walk and take trains everywhere, the question about community is more important. That intro above is a fantastical window dressing. Looks nice, but it's a cover for what's inside.
What's inside is this: I am disconnected
I don't have a reliable crew to roll with. I don't have an artistic home.
I need these things, I think. And if I really allow myself to sit in it enough, I think this may be the thing I'm looking for to cover both Crisis 1 and Crisis 2. I need a supportive community.
There are friends from college I can reach out to, but don't. Maybe I should. Looking back, that was the best thing about being in school. Having wonderful artistic and creative minds at arms length at all times.
I need to be around artistic people that are doing exciting things, that want to commiserate, that want to have fun, people with goals and ambitions who have wisdom inside of them but still need some advise every now and then, people who haven't quite gotten it all figured out, but damn they are navigating.
I need, more than anything, a community. I've been far too alone in the past year.
Los Angeles. It's a city with a lot of amazing things that are an hour drive apart from each other. It's a place where you can be isolated really easily. And it doesn't help that I can be stubbornly individualistic.
Break through that wall of distance resistance. Melt the isolation.
Here we go.