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Stupidly Stubborn

Believe it or not, I am a stubborn son of a bitch

I know, I think it's weird too.

Yes, somewhere buried in this moderate, mustn't-be-too-hasty personality is a guy who can be blitheringly stubborn about certain things.

The most classic example is:

Friendo: Do you want to hang out tonight?
Drew: No.
Friendo: Why?
Drew: Because I'm staying in, that's why.
Friendo: That's a sucky reason.
Drew: No, my whole day I was expecting to stay in tonight, so by golly, I'm staying in or else it'll upset my delicate equilibrium.
Friendo: Please hang out.
Drew: Dude...
Friendo: DREW
Drew: ...fine

several hours later

Drew: well that was fun.


So most of the time, my stubbornness is just stupid. I don't do fun things because of what, some pre-planned idea of how I wanted my evening to go? That's dumb of me.

That's stubborn of me.

My life is riddled with examples of people trying to get me to do things which I stubbornly say "no" to until finally relenting and having a goddamn decent time doing whatever it is they got me to do. MOST OF THE TIME (some nights just aren't fun, y'all)

Aside from that short time early in college where I was trying too hard to be likable, FOMO never really got the best of me. I see pictures of people having fun on facebook and while I might get a mild flicker of jealousy, it quickly goes away when I remember, "Oh yeah, I fucking hate nightclubs, what the hell am I jealous about?" and move on with my life.

My point is that I am strangely stubborn in a lot of ways and I'm not sure it's such a great attribute. While, in the long run, it doesn't matter so much if I turn down a night on the town, there are other aspects of my life that people have advice for me about and I just... well I don't ignore it, but I kind of resent it.

I'm reaching a point where I'm bumping into my own career stubbornness. I try to keep an open mind, but sometimes someone says something they think is a good idea and my reaction is, "Well, that's not going to work for me."

Which, if I don't try these things, how do I know it's not going to work for me? I don't have good answer to that question, but Stubborn Drew still plows ahead nonetheless.

I don't want to get too deep into specific cases, but here's a few that really exemplify what I mean:

Writing advice: Do incredibly detailed character bios.
Stubborn Drew: Fuck that. That sounds boring. I know my characters just fine THANK YOU

Acting advice: Go to Casting Director workshops to make connections.
Stubborn Drew: I would rather have my teeth pulled out one by one, then my toenails, and then have my toenails put in my mouth to replace my teeth.

So. Yup.

There's a point where stubbornness becomes a thin veil of a name for "willing ignorance." Now that I'm finally getting to the point where I feel comfortable taking some risks in terms of career things, I'm trying to wrestle with where I'm at in regards to my odd stubborn streak.

Is it just me following my gut and carving my own path the way I want to for once without other people telling me exactly what to do? Maybe.

But looking at HISTORY (tm) I'm not so sure.

Possible updates as story unfolds.


Suggestions welcome.

But may be ignored.


Because I'm stubborn.

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