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Five Years of Being So Cute It's Gross

Five years is a long freaking time

Although it is only approximately 3.5 to the power of -10 the amount of time the whole universe has been in existence but… you know. Tiny human lifespans and all.

Five years is how long Jinny and I have been together. On August 19th 2014, Jinny and I decided to give this relationship thing a shot, not knowing if it would survive even a month. Believe it or not, when a lot of people keep saying that the both of you would make a great couple, the pressure makes it difficult to discern just how true that is. Lots of relationships buckle under that sort of thing.

It’s from 2015, but it’s still the best photo of us

It’s from 2015, but it’s still the best photo of us

Five years. We’ve graduated college and started on our professional careers.

Five years is enough time for me to have begun five different dayjobs, three of which I still have in some capacity.

Five years is long enough for each of us to have had starring roles in indie features, one each.

Five years is longer than the first World War.

Five years is a fifth of my life.

I’ve lived in three apartments over the course of five years.

In five years, we adopted a cat and hope to adopt another soon.

In five years, beloved family and pets have left us.

In five years, Jinny’s accomplishments are numerous, and watch out folks, she’s only getting started. She’s won awards for her acting, has been singled out by the press for her performance skills, gets paid for modeling gigs, and is constantly working on a role in a play, film, or commercial.

In five years, I've had approximately eighty billion existential crises.

Over the course of five years, I finally realized that this acting thing wasn't for me. This writing thing, however...

In five years, I've written an uncountable number of things, the majority of which will never see the light of day.

In five years, we've lived together for three of them.

In five years, I still haven't made good on the Dungeons and Dragons campaign I've promised people. But it is coming soon. I promise.

Over the span of five years, Game of Thrones went from The Best Show to The Worst Show.

In five years, I've self produced three plays at the fringe.

In five years, my plays have had a total of eight separate productions, depending on how generous you want to be in your counting.

Five years is apparently not long enough for me to figure out what the fuck I’m actually doing with my life.

In much less than five years, Trump has replaced a significant portion of the judiciary with cronies, which will have have long-lasting consequences for another five years at the very least.

In five years, I've read at least a hundred and fifty books and somehow I still have shelves and shelves of books I've yet to read.

In five years, I fell out of love, then back in love, with listening to music.

In five years, I've listened to over 200 days worth of podcasts, which is another habit you can blame Jinny for.

At some point in the past five years, Jinny started an Etsy and a Society6, which you should buy lots of things from if you like good things.

In five years, Jinny and I have made progress on a graphic novel. Not much, mind you, but progress.

Within these five years, Jinny and I have compiled and will be soon distributing a zine.

In five years, Bambi has knocked glasses of water onto my laptop five times, two of which necessitated expensive repairs.

In five years, Jinny and I have maybe been on about twenty five dates. Probably less. We don’t get out much.

In five years, Jinny and I have skipped about a hundred social engagements to watch Bob's Burgers instead.

In five years, I've consumed enough coffee to replace the blood in my body at least twelve times.

In five years, everything has become a blur. Time seems to move so fast, moments pass by that mean something, then are forgotten in the sea of moments.

In five years, my facial hair went from “embarrassingly nonexistent” to “scruffy and handsome, but still unimpressive.”

I've spent the majority of those five years in California, but I still don't feel like a Californian.

I've forgotten what it was like to have structure imposed on me, and honestly I miss it a little and I can’t seem to nail down how to give myself appropriate structure.

In five years, I've spent three thanksgivings in Boston with Jinny's family.

In five years, Jinny has spent two Christmases with my family in Seattle. She humors us, even though she's Jewish.

In five years, I've killed so many projects I can't remember them all.

In five years I've filled up oodles of journals and notebooks and legal pads, but IT’S NOT ENOUGH DAMMIT.

In five years, I've driven over 45,000 miles.

Over the course of five years, I’ve had to increase the prescription on my glasses twice.

In five years I've gone from being able to cook only pasta to like, following actual recipes and shit.

In five years, Jinny and I spend most of our time together, yet have still managed to develop separate lives where the other doesn't feel the need to intrude. Because privacy is still nice to have.

In five years, my brother graduated high school, started college, and graduated college.

There is so much that's happened in five years, I'm sure, but I just can't seem to recall much of it.

In the span of five years, I've come to understand that loving someone means being totally comfortable in their presence, and when they're not around it feels as though an organ is missing. When I go to bed and she isn't there, it takes me longer to fall asleep because something is wrong. There should be someone there… just right there where I’ve placed my hand. As far as my body’s memory goes, someone has always been there. There is a slight imprint in the mattress reminding me, like the scar after an operation to remove a kidney, that something vital is missing.

Jinny and I have spent five wonderful years together. Here's to many more.

So in conclusion:

i can’t believe i still have this stupid fucking thing on my hard drive

i can’t believe i still have this stupid fucking thing on my hard drive

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