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The Importance of Having a Rigid Schedule

Having a rigid schedule is so very important

Bagels are a great way to start your day!

Bagels are a great way to start your day!

Even if you don’t get through everything, making a plan is critical to having a fulfilling life. As an example, my Tuesday schedule is below for you to use as a model in your own life.

Of course, you can change things to suit your own needs, but so far this has worked out really well for me and it might for you!

5:00 - Wake up, feeling terror for no particular reason

5:00-6:00 - Attempt to wake self up and fall asleep at the same time. Become paralyzed

6:00 - Make bagel

6:01 - Get news alert

6:01-8:00 - Fall into rabbit hole of horror, outrage, and depression. Bagel disappears under mysterious circumstances

8:00 - Realize I should’ve left for work half an hour ago

8:00-8:05 - Throw on bare minimum of dress code acceptable clothing

8:05-9:30 - Drive to work

8:30 - Wonder what happened to bagel

8:35 - Yearn for bagel

8:45 - Call work. Lie about overturned oil tanker on the freeway

9:35 - Go to desk. Make self as small and unnoticeable as possible

9:40 - Check emails

9:41 - Get news alert

9:41-12:00 - Reprise of horror/outrage/depression rabbit hole

12:00-12:30 - Have a “working lunch” of cup noodles at desk. Yearn for bagel. Stare at emails. Will for them to go away

12:30-1:00 - Make an effort to do my goddamn job

1:01 - Realize I forgot to give Bosco, my cat, his morning din-dins

1:02 - Run to car, screaming over shoulder about a “family emergency”

1:05 - Back car up into VP of Marketing’s Mercedes

1:05-1:30 - Break down in tears about needing to give Bosco din-dins

1:30-2:00 - Disjointedly talk about the lack of bagels in my life and how there is a conspiracy to keep bagels away from me. Steal Mercedes while VP is confused

2:00-2:30 - Drive home

2:30 - Go to give Bosco din-dins. Realize I absent-mindedly gave it to him during the morning horror/outrage/depression rabbit hole

2:31 - Hear sirens

2:32 - Police officer in helicopter explains through a megaphone that I am guilty of grand theft auto

2:33 - Get news alert

2:34 - Tell officer about the alert

2:35-5:00 - Second reprise of horror/outrage/depression rabbit hole, this time in duet with police officer

5:00-6:00 - Give speech about how the only way for the proletariat to throw off their shackles is by valuing fairness, justice, and equality over the meager comfort of unchaotic status quo. Hammer it home with a bagel metaphor - “We make the bagels, but we are forced to hand over our bagels to the bagel sellers, who then sell the bagels back to us, the bagel makers”

6:00 - Sign officer up for my mailing list. Give him his orders for the revolution

6:05 - Feed Bosco his evening din-dins

6:10-6:15 - Get call from work expressing worry about family emergency

6:15-7:00 - Brazenly lie about how my mother ran out of bagels, so she made cup noodles instead and she slurped too fast on the noodles and nearly choked to death on them and her boyfriend found her on the floor of the living room with noodles flopping out of her mouth and how she’s okay now, but the mere word “noodles” is enough to send her into an apoplectic rage and she punched me in the eye during an episode and I won’t be able to come in tomorrow because I’m recovering from my mother’s noodle freakout I’m really emotionally and physically scarred about it

7:00-9:00 - Watch five episodes of Frasier on Netflix while eating cup noodles. Yearn for bagel

9:01 - News alert on phone

9:01-12:00 - Insomniac version of horror/outrage/depression rabbit hole

12:01 - Find bagel from this morning somehow shoved into a roll of paper towels

12:01-12:02 - Consume bagel

12:03 - Pass out on floor

I don’t always hit everything I want to every day, but I do the best I can. The importance is in the planning itself.

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