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The Nintendo Switch Has Killed Me

Since I seem to be continually late to the bandwagon…


You can tell this is not me because it isn’t 3AM

You can tell this is not me because it isn’t 3AM

I was extremely lucky to acquire a Nintendo Switch for Christmas. It’s lovely. As someone who has basically stopped paying attention to video games, Nintendo’s Little Console That Could has full blown reminded me why video games used to take such a prominent place in my life.

When the Xbox One and PS4 came out, I made the decision that I wasn’t going to go for either of them. Why get them when my laptop runs Crusader Kings II just fine and also Dark Souls for the 360 is still bomb and also what do you mean devote my precious time to something fun? That’s not doing worrrrrk and I do nothing but woorrrrrrk on my arrrrrttt in allllll my spaaaaarrrreee momenttsssssssss.

It was kind of a shame that the last few years saw me playing hardly any video games. I got out of the habit in college and the habit was given final burial rites in my first couple years of adulthood.

There were a couple times I went on binges. I beat Undertale in a weekend. Every now and then I’d load up something skronky like Crusader Kings II or Rimworld or Stellaris and be really really bad at it for about a week before my compulsion ran its course. Other than a few zombies bursting out of that grave every couple months, video games and I… I thought we’d parted ways for good.

And then the Nintendo Switch slotted into my hands and…


My productivity has been complete dicks for the past month and a half.


It’s a testament to the console that not only are the games I have for it great, but the design of it is so cool that it just makes me want to play with it more. I sometimes play Switch in handheld mode. Not because I need to, but just… because! I AM A WHIMSICAL FAIRY PERSON OF WHIMSY NOW AND AM JUST SO UNSTOPPABLY WHIMSICAL. FEAR MY WHIMSY.

So the hardware is way cool.

But if the games were crap, that wouldn’t mean anything.

Fortunately - you know what, why am I even bothering? Everyone already knows Mario Odyssey and Zelda: Breath of the Wild are amazing. I’m so late to the bandwagon, anything I have to say about any of the games for the Switch is just going to be met with utter annoyance of “Yeah. I know. I’ve heard that a thousand times already. Also, I beat them twice. Also, get gud, scrub.”

Mario Odyssey and Zelda: Breath of the Wild are amazing, tho.

I also made the mistake of downloading Stardew Valley.

I was already having willpower issues when it came to the Switch. And then a did a stupid thing like that and lost an entire week when I really should have been working on [REDACTED].

So… I have died. I’m dead. The Nintendo Switch has killed me. All ambitions for art and creation have left my spirit and are suffering in Dream Purgatory.

Though… I can blame the Switch all I want. Ultimately… I’m procrastinating.

I’ve been through this cycle before. The Switch is perhaps the most egregious manifestation of it, but nonetheless, I’ve been here before. And I’ve been here more often in the past year than I’d like.

The cycle of - “oh… I’m tired… I’ve been working hard. You know, if I’m tired, I don’t need to get writing done… why force myself to? And I don’t neeeeeeeed to submit to all of those opportunities…. it’s exhausting stuff and I’m tired… you know what you deserve, you tired hardworking Drewbiedrew? You deserve endless hours of YouTube/books/games/classic horror flicks tonight. You know what? Forget tonight! Make it the whole weekend! You deserve it!”

And I listen to that voice because, when tired, I am weak. I give into Resistance, as Steven Pressfield would say.

I can blame Nintendo all I want. But the truth is that I’ve been up against some real big creative blocks. I’ve been having trouble overcoming exhaustion - not even because I’m not getting enough sleep, just that when I get home from work… I’m fucking tired and don’t want to do shit. I’ve been having trouble focusing. I can’t seem to get myself to stick with one task for ten minutes before deciding it’s break time. I’ve been reading a lot, and while reading IS good, the fact that I’m prioritizing it before the work I need to do is less good.

But no - it’s Nintendo’s fault. That’s an easier pill to swallow.

So anyway, I’m going to win a Grand Prix or two in Mario Kart before - OH GOD IT’S HAPPENED AGAIN.

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