I have always been obsessed with time
Were I given a choice of superpowers, the one I would always ask for (same answer I would have given since I was about five years old) is to control time.
Slow it down, speed it up, slide it back, jump around, freeze the world, alter individual objects. Too powerful? Of course. Would it be freaking awesome? I think so, at least. What happens if you alter the timeline? Are there multiple time lines or only one? WHO KNOWS. It's just fun for me to think about all the possibilities that exist when time is my biatch.
As a kid, the thought experiment over time manipulation always centered around what I could do with it. Stop time, thwart some crime! Turn those bad guys to dust!
But now that I'm older and dealing with mundane realities, my thoughts about time tend to trend in much more practical directions. Sometimes I do wonder about what it would be like to have those fantastic powers I always fantasized about, but for the most part...
I start to worry. Christ, I never used to worry about time. I always wanted the future to hurry up and GET HERE and to some degree, I still feel that. But as I'm pursuing the goals I've set for myself, I keep feeling that sensation of time slipping through my fingers like silty sand.
Middle school was an eternity. Ditto for High School.
College felt like one year though I know it was four.
And now I'm several months into my adult life and I have to keep reminding myself that holy shit, it's been over half a year since I graduated even though it feels like it couldn't have happened more than a month ago.
But here I am, at the cusp of December, of turning Twenty-three with a college degree.
I always wanted time to speed up. Now I want it to slow the fuck down. It's all going too fast.
It's a quirk of my personality that I never feel like I have enough time to get stuff done - I know this about myself. But it's been exacerbated now that I'm out of school. If I'm not doing something to enhance my acting or writing career or at one of my jobs to make money, then I feel like I'm wasting my precious time.
Which is bullshit because, as my roomates and the love of my life will tell you, I work too damn hard. Always the irony - I work my ass off and I still don't think I'm doing enough, though everyone close to me is telling me to ease off the burner a bit.
Maybe I'm just overreacting at the moment and once I establish an adulthood routine it'll feel less urgent.
But I'm only in my early twenties once. Don't want to waste one iota of my youthful energy.
*hammers out two-thousand words before work*
*pauses, looks around*
*wonders why his shoulders feel so tense all the time*
I'm not slowing down any time soon. But maybe I can be less hard on myself. Leverage that Italian tendency towards relaxation.
Say what you will about us Italians, but you have to admit that we relax like it's sacred.
Or, at least, most of us do.